College Life - Update #2

Sorry guys! I missed last week, but I'll catch you up.

We're now in the third week of school, but thankfully homework has slowed up a little bit. I have a presentation, paper and Spanish test due this week. The presentation is for Rhetoric, analyzing a Santa ad from the forties.

This ad, to be exact. Frightening.

Basically, I have to examine different rhetorical elements of the ad and pull an argument from it. I'm going to say that the ad can't really make up it's mind about what it wants to do, who it wants to sell to, etc. The paper I have to do is for Advanced Comp and I have to analyze a paper I wrote Freshman year with the analysis tools we've been learning. Then we'll workshop it in class and make sure we all understood the assignment. It should be pretty interesting.

I've also performed a "difficult conversation" in Ethnography. I did pretty well I think and the student whose conversation I was performing liked it a lot, so I'd call it a success. I've also written two short assignments for my creative writing class and got a 98 on the first one. It was a pretty good week, grades wise.

Work is also taking off. I proctored my first quiz this week, the actual thing I'm hired to do on campus. It went well and I really like being able to help the students like that. In case I didn't share it last time, proctoring is helping students take quizzes or tests if they need help reading or writing.

Hastings is also working out pretty well too. I get about 12 - 15 hours a week and i really like the job. The people are really cool and fun too, plus the discount is awesome!

The roommates are still awesome and I'm getting to spend more time with them lately, so that's good too.

Well...That's pretty much it! Sorry this one isn't more exciting, but I'm pretty glad life is kind of slowing down.

Talk to you guys soon!

First Week Back

In my new effort to focus this blog more on the happenings of my life, I figured I should post something here about school starting up again.

Yep, it's happening. My second year of school has begun. Summer is officially over, more evident than ever whenever I have to know the date. Today was the last day of class for the first week, so I guess I'll jump into the happenings and whatnot.

For those of you that don't know, I am currently at 55 credit hours thanks to dual credit classes in high school. While 55 hours still classifies me as a sophomore, I will become a junior after attaining 60 hours. Since I'm taking 15 total hours this semester, I'll start next semester as a junior. Sorry if that was confusing but now for the fun stuff!

I get to live in a really nice dorm this year, no longer confined to the smaller and somewhat under kept Freshman dorms of last year (but now they've built a new one and moved people around so the new Freshman get treated a lot better.). This semester though, I'm in the Sophomore dorm called Seguin Hall. It's the second newest dorm on campus, making it one of the nicest. The rooms are suite style, with the individual rooms connected by a living room. Each room off the living room has two people and there are usually three to four rooms meaning that 6 - 8 guys can share one living area. Ew.

However, I was super lucky in my roommate situation. Originally, I was going to be in an 8 person suite with 7 other guys I didn't know. While I'm all for making friends, that could have been pretty uncomfortable. Thankfully though, the director of Residence Life on campus called me about 3 weeks before move in day to ask if I'd like to room with my friends Henry and Rene. Henry is a Resident Assistant (Dorm Monitor), so he gets his own room, meaning that Rene and I share a room and that it's only the three of us sharing the living room (We're in a special RA room with only two rooms) so it's pretty great. Below are some pictures of our dorm rooms and living area so you can kind of see what it's like :)

Walking into the Living Area. My room is to the left, around that wall.
(We're constantly in a state of unpacking)

The Living Room
(Say hi to Brittney!)

The Entertainment Center.

My room's door.

My side of the room. There's a sink and things to the right that you can't see. 

So that's my rooming situation, which is just one of many great things about this semester. I'm in love with all of my classes (that might change as the semester goes on but right, I'm loving them). I'm currently double majoring in Communications and English and I'm thinking about picking up a minor in Marketing, but I'm not sure. I'll meet with my adviser on Monday to work that out.

Based on my degree plan, I'm taking Spanish 1, Creative Writing: A Fiction Writing Workshop, Rhetoric, Ethnography and Advanced Composition. As for what these classes actually are....

Spanish 1 (MWF 9:00am): 
   Somewhat obvious. This is me learning Spanish, but unlike my high school Spanish courses, we're actually learning conversational Spanish so it's ACTUALLY USEFUL. It's a little bit of a shellshock because our teacher talks to us in Spanish throughout the class, so I spend most of my time just trying to keep up with what he's saying. But I'm liking it a lot and I think it will be easier as time goes on. 3 of my friends (including Brittney) are in the class with me so that makes studying a little easier too.

Creative Writing (MWF 10:30am) 
   This is my favorite class, possibly ever. The entire focus is to hone your skills as a fiction writer and, considering my dream is to be a novelist, this is perfect for me. In here we're going to be writing 4 short stories about 1500 words apiece and then review them as a class, which I'm really excited for. This will happen a little later in the semester and, depending on how happy I am with them, may post the finalized product on here.

Rhetoric (MW 1:00pm)
  This one looks to be tied with Ethnography for my hardest class right now.  It's the study of social movements and how you can use argument to influence and instigate these. It's going to be a LOT of tough reading and projects but I think the end result will be worth it. It's also taught by my favorite professor (shown below) so that's exciting.

Advanced Comp (TR 1:00pm)
  This one is going to be fun too. It's basically how to write for a certain demographic, i.e. newspapers, websites, etc. This semester is focusing on blogs (like this one, but not really). We get to research a bunch and then use Rhetoric (the cross usage of classes was unintentional) to determine how and why these blogs influence their readers. By the end of the semester, we'll actually have made our own blog that fits in with our researched area and then do a rhetorical analysis of the whole thing. This teacher is new, she actually came from Colin College in McKinney so she's from my area of the country! Haha. She's also implementing a cool grading style where we're not graded on anything until the end of the semester, so that we're graded on our work as a whole and the improvement of it over the semester. It's pretty cool and doesn't let a low grade on an early paper pull down your final grade.

And finally...
Ethnography (TR 2:30pm)
  This is tied with Rhetoric for hardest class of the system. Put simply, Ethnography is the study of social trends and movements. Ever been to or heard of a focus group? Ethnography is the reason those happen. This one is a lot of projects and readings but should be really interesting. It's taught by two tenured professors at the University, each one focusing on a different aspect of the course. I've never had either one of them but I already like them a lot. This one could very easily become a favorite of the semester.

Those five classes make up my 15 hour academic load. On top of that, I am working for the Student Counselor on campus. I'm a "test proctor" meaning that any student who has a disability (i.e. dyslexia) that allows them to receive help on tests, I help them however they need (reading the questions or writing the answers, specifically). I'll be working with one girl in particular who needs both on her tests. However, instead of only getting to work whenever there are tests to be taken, they give me six hours a week (3-5 on MWF) so I get to work throughout the semester, helping with whatever they need in the office. 

I'm also working at a bookstore in town for about 25 hours a week. That one is still kind of up in the air (I do training tomorrow morning) so I'm not sure how many hours or when I'll work yet.

As far as the rest of my life goes, I'm trying to get involved on campus more. As such, I'm a student writer for our campus magazine "The Lone Star Lutheran", re-forming our Quidditch team (yes, the sport from Harry Potter), applying for Student Government, helping in the Community through the Center for Student Leadership, helping in Chapel services when they need me and joining MASA (Mexican - American Student Association) to help with Spanish and do some more work for the community. Needless to say, it's going to be a busy, busy, BUSY semester.

On top of all that work, groups and homework, I'm trying to carve a little bit of time for writing. I recently fleshed out the plot of my entire novel and it's three sequels and have outlined all of them. Now it's just an issue of finding time to write it all down haha. I'm hoping to have the first finished and ready to be sent off by December, but I'll keep you updated.

That's pretty much it. One whole week of being back in school and I had this much to say. Family, this might have been better than a phone call! I'll try and update this about once a week to keep y'all informed on the happenings. If you know me personally (not that this blog has a lot of followers), feel free to text and I'll try and respond. Family, call whenever and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Love you all and I'll try to survive the craziness that is this semester and see you soon.

My Summer...a Quick Returning Note

Well, I'm back. This blog still exists and I'm gonna try to keep up with posting more regularly. My extended leave of absence was due, mainly to the fact that I felt that I really had nothing interesting to say. But, I'm back, ranting and raving and just writing random things. Feel free to tune in.

As for where I am in my life, I'm currently attending Texas Lutheran University, majoring in communications and English. I love everything about school and this new stage of life. I'm sure plenty of stories will be posted in the coming months. Most importantly, I've met the love of my life and am coming up on the first year of a amazing relationship with an incredible woman. I'm living in the moment, but I'm planning on marrying her someday. There we go. Things got personal. I'm also throwing myself into my writing, working and planning my novel (which I believe will be a trilogy if everything works out). Struck, is my chosen title for the moment. I'll let you know how the novel writing goes, but I'm hoping to be done with the first full draft by Christmas.

As for this beloved and dusty little blog, it will go back to what it always was; an avenue for thoughts and feelings, random rants and maybe a few short stories or ideas. As always, this is just going to be a quick look  into the chaos of my mind.

The reason for this returning post is due to the fact that my first summer as a college student is coming to an end in about 8 days. I'll be returning to school next Sunday, to the town and friends I know and love. Unfortunately, it also means I'll be leaving my family, friends (old and new) and a beloved job behind. And that's a lot to take in.

For the first time, I won't be leaving with my family, I'll be leaving my family. I'm back to being on my own, in a different world, with different people. As excited for it as I am, I'm also sad. But that's growing up, I guess.

This next semester should be fun though. I'm hoping to work on campus, or at a movie theater or at a bookstore. Somewhere that pays me mainly. That's the real drawing factor. Classes will be fun, though I'm taking college level Spanish, so we'll see how that goes. But I get some cool new roommates and some new opportunities for friendships, so I'm excited to see how it goes.

This was really pointless, but it's good to be writing again. Here's to the future and everything that it holds. See you next time!

A Fan-Faith Shaken

Doctor Who is one of my favorite shows of all time.

Though I've only been a fan for a short time, it's hard not to love the quirky mad man with a box.

Specifically this one.

The current season (series 6) is the first one I've had to watch live, instead of on Netflix or DVD, so I'm still getting used to the week-long waits and BBCA's schedule. The "summer break" is taking the most getting used to. I mean, who stops mid-summer? What's up with that? (get it?)

Which brings me to my point:
The summer finale disappointed me.

Granted, I've been disappointed by Doctor Who episodes before, but not Stephen Moffat. Stephen Moffat is the brain above all brains in television writing. The man is a personal hero of mine and I'm constantly amazed by what he does for this show. Good Man Goes to War changed that.

After the build up with the Rebel Flesh and Almost People, coupled with the teaser trailer and previews leaked on the internet, I was pretty excited for this episode. It looked promising, what with Cybermen, Amy's baby, River's true identity and some epic Rory lines, I was pumped.

Then, it aired.

It started off strong, with an encouraging Amy speech and the Doctor gathering an army. River freaked me out with her promises of not being able to be at the battle until the end. The time for epicness was upon us!

It continued strong, with the Doctor making as grand of an entrance as ever. It started to drop off, however after I realized that the Cybermen were wasted, only being featured for literally a minute, seemingly shoehorned in so as to excite the fans in the trailers.

Without going into detail about every minute of the episode, let's just jump to the specifics in my disappointment.

First off, the whole "plot twist" of River being Amy's daughter doesn't feel right at all. I mean, the Doctor loving and getting with Amy's (his best friend) daughter is just really odd. Plus, with him being there during her conception and whatnot just seems really weird. The unveiling of it all also seemed to just take away from the dramatic build-up of the first half of the episode, making the whole thing feel really awkward and choppy.

Second, what happened to he'll "climb higher" and "fall farther" that River talked about? There was nothing super dramatic that would have be evident. The characters had too actually point out, in the exact same words, when it had happened. Granted, I guess it could be seen as an emotional and soul crushing journey, but I wasn't really expecting "emotional", so it was a little harder to believe.

Third, where the heck are the Silence? The season premiere proved that they were a formidable and probably frequent enemy and then they disappeared so that we could have a pirate episode...

Ok, I guess it's slightly alright.

It was also implied that the Silence had an interest in the baby girl, yet this was ignored in the summer finale. Instead, we had the weird lady with an eyepatch who snatched the baby. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, I just really wanted the Silence to make another appearance before the fall.

That was really all the complaints I about the episode, but the combination of all of it left a sour taste in my mouth. Overall, it was a good episode, I just felt that it was unworthy of being a "summer finale." It seemed as though it couldn't make up it's mind on what it wanted to be: dramatic or emotional. In the end, it seemed to try and combine the two...badly. Thankfully, the name for the next episode alone makes me excited. Here's hoping Stephen Moffat returns to his normal, spectacular self in Let's Kill Hitler. 

I want one.

SPAM

Computers have been around for a long time. Ok, not a LONG time, but they've been around and the technology is constantly expanding. We can use computers for everything from writing papers to playing games; they're functional and FUNctional!

 Yeah, even I thought that was bad...

Here's my question though (and the point of this whole article): why does spam still exist?

 No, not...yeah, okay this too.

But I'm talking about spam emails. I get hundreds of random, junk emails every week. Yes, we have filters and such, but why not just delete the things? Sure, some random person might get their email deleted but most of the time, I don't want to talk to them anyways! 

To give you an idea of why I'm so adamant about this, lets take a look at some of the spam email I got this week, shall we?

Monday

From: "My Life"

Subject: "See who's searching for you"

Message:

 Possibly taken with my phone...

This creeps me out for several reasons. First of all, My Life is apparently emailing me. That can't be good. Second, someone is apparently looking for me. I don't like that... because it's weird. It's even weirder that they're looking with some random website. Don't they know about Facebook? Facebook is basically made so that you can "reconnect" with people. And, on Facebook, you can stalk the person without them knowing. This website apparently tells the person you're looking for them. Weird. It's probably just a bunch of old ladies with a thousand cats looking for their old boyfriends who were actually trampled in a protest in the 60's. 

Stupid cat-lady hippies. Get off the internet. 

Tuesday

From: Jesusita Jennette 

Subject: xnfo8

Message: 

That says "e4". Just to be clear.

I don't even know what this means. If I had to guess (and I have to, otherwise this would be boring), I would probably say that this lady is an abandoned alien in Mexico, trying to find her way home. She's reaching out to me because she thinks I believe in them and will do anything to help her. Well, shes wrong! If she is an alien and wants my help, she had better come right to my doorstep with cash and ask on her knees. Are you reading this, Jesusita? CASH MONEY ON THE STEP.

 And it had better be Benjamins...

 

Its not that I think I'm better than the Martians, my skills are just that awesome.*

More likely though, its some, *ahem* LARGE woman who fell asleep on her keyboard. Or she was drunk. 

Wednesday

From: Bathroom Remodel

Subject: "update that outdated bathroom"

Message: 

Now I'm offended. These people don't know me! They don't know what my bathroom looks like! I could have the finest faucets and tubs and toilets on the market. There is a toilet that will flush 36 golf balls at once! Maybe I have that! You don't know me, nameless-bathroom-remodelers! So, step off before I slam 36 golf balls **CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED**!!!! So, there. 

Thursday

From: Kaye Virgil

Subject: "Buy brand name and GENERIC DRUGS online"

Message: 

Your bathroom isn't all that great either, jerks.

There are a lot of things wrong with this one. Not only are they offering me "generic drugs", the sender name sounds like the type of person to send me a bunch of crack-laced roofies for my flu. This is just a very bad idea. I'd rather stick to DayQuil from Wal-mart. Wait, is that any better?

Friday

From: Zoosk

Subject: Online Dating. Your Way.

Message:

Apparently, their ad was to tell me its an ad. Very effective.

Oh, I know this place. They're the ones with the badly filmed commercials that talk about bad first dates. To me, is seems like they might be doing well since they have both bad tv commercials and bad email ads. I mean, this one's blank. Also, the "Date Your Way" tag concerns me a little bit. The idea of roofies, a laundry room from How I Met Your Mother (trust me, it's bad) and lots of illegal drugs, all for the sake of "This is how I date, fool!" 

Concerning. Very concerning.

So that's my week in spam emails. Don't feel bad that you got like 600; so did I. These were just some of the easiest to make fun of. Other emails this week included: multiple drug sales, Swinging Seniors info, and How To Find My Russian Soulmate, but talking about those might've gotten racist, or gross.

*My skills aren't that good either, but the Martians owe me for taking Elvis.

Darth Vader Wins

Super-villains have lost what once made them great. Once upon a time, a super-villain struck fear into the hearts of those who watched them, not just the heroes that fought them. Super-villians were meant to be imposing, frightening and ruthless. These days it seems like most are just cliched fat dudes seeking vengance on their one archenemy.

Case and point.

However, despite Lex Luthor ruining the curve of super-villian awesomess (not every bald guy is bad, kids), there are still a few villains that send a shiver down my spine. Joker, for example, seems to get creepier and crazier with every new redition and even though I'm never threatened by him, I always worry that maybe Batman won't stop him this time. And secretly, I want him to win one.

That's what a villain needs to be; an adversary that you love to hate. And we just don't have those anymore. So, while Joker ranks pretty high on my list of classic favorites, there's one man who stands alone in my mind. One man who still remains an icon, 30 years after his death. That's right folks.

Darth Vader.

Buh-nuh!

There are a lot of reasons to love Darth and even more since the prequels came out. Allow me to explain.

He Rules the Universe
Darth Vader didn't come to this game to play around; he came to win. And while all these other pansy's are conquering individual planets or the moon, Darth Vader took the freaking universe. And he did it with ease. I mean, barely anyone ever saw him, yet his name was whispered in infamy. This dude was just bad. I mean, the movies don't do him justice. You never see him conquer anything, but if you think about how he got to where he was, he's pretty awesome. Also, remember this?

I want my nachoes!!

That picture demonstrates just how awesome Darth Vader really is. Think about it. He literally hijacked their ship and sent his minions in to kill everyone on board. Then, he stormed in and interrogated the lone survior by choking him. Then he killed him. That is just pure awesomeness.

He Was Able To Kill His Enemies
Too many bad guys these days just run around blowing things up before the hero comes and stops them. And robbing a bank or two really doesn't do much when you factor in how much goes to bail and the next heist.

Meanwhile, Vader had the most epic advesaries; the Jedi Order. Protectors of the galaxy, masters of the Force, all that. Vader flat destroyed all of them. Hunted them down and made sure they weren't ever going to beat him.

He even killed those squirrels

He Chose To Lose
Vader did not just randomly get defeated. Like I said, he destroyed every possible threat to him that existed. He cut off his own son's hand and destroyed his daughters adopted planet to prove his point. This man did not jack around. Thus, when he was defeated, it was on his own terms. He sacrificed himself to save his kid when Luke officially failed at everything he had set out to do the whole franchise.

"I couldn't kill the Emperor, but I've got the creepy stare down."

So, like a true dad, Vader saved his butt. But Vader's death was no mere "I stab you with my lightsber." Oh no. It was "I shall pick up your sorry, evil shriveled body and toss you into an infinite pit while withstanding lightning blasts! RAWRGH!!!!!" That's no ordinary bad guy death; that's the death of the GREATEST VILLAIN EVER.

It definitely looked like this.

He Has An Amazing Hideout
Most villains have a multimillion dollar company or an abandoned warehouse or a van to hide in. Darth Vader had an entire spaceship, with thousands of crew members as big as a moon. It's the size of what some of those lamer villains are trying to conquer. Also, it has a planet destroying laser.

There's just one tiny little hole that will blow the hole thing up.

He Became Darth Vader on a Fluke 

Everyone knows the big, bad, asthmatic Darth Vader. He came around in the 80's. More recently, audiences were shown who Darth Vader was before. 

Less awesome

That nerd is Anakin, father of Luke and Leia (remember, he's mentioned like twice in the originals) and a member of the Jedi Order. I won't go into details but after several traumatic incidents (losing an arm, dating someone 15 years older than him and his mom getting slaughtered) Anakin decides that the Light Side of the Force just aint working for him anymore and goes completely awesome. 

To be awesome, just add a hood.

Anakin slayed the entire Jedi Order before he even got the helmet and breathing apparatus. He was awesome before he "was" Darth Vader. The suit just made him more awesome. But the suit was actually a fluke. Once again, Vader's tiny bit of compassion shone through and he decided to not just wreck shop on Obi-Wan's face the moment they run into each other.

Which is good, because we would have missed out on this.

Back to my point. Anakin doesn't immediately waste Obi-Wan, choosing instead to participate in the greatest lightsaber battle of all time. Then...he gets cocky. Instead of the classic trick of "Look! Over there!" and stabbing Obi-Wan when he turned around, Anakin decides to leap dramatically over his head....and gets his legs chopped off by Obi-Wan. Then Obi-Wan leaves him to burn alive in a magma river.

Jedi Compassion goes out the window when there's lava around

As a result of this cocky fluke, we get awesomeness. 

AWESOMENESS

He Killed His Mentor

So, lets fast forward 20 years (or rewind, depending on what order you keep the movies). Obi-Wan is now "Old Ben" and Luke is looking for excitement. Obviously, they should go fight Darth Vader. So, they set off, team up with Indiana Jones and his pet bear, find the moon of a space station, get trapped and then Obi-Wan gets chopped in half.

*Reenactment*

 So, Darth Vader takes vengeance, 20 years later. This dude can hold a grudge and reciprocate the man's lack of compassion. Well done, sir. Well done.

He Only Lost the Battles Because His Minions Sucked

I've already mentioned how Darth Vader only lost because he wanted to. If you think about it, in his suit, the guy was kind of invincible. His only failures came from his minions and their incompetence. Here are two examples of said stupidity:

1. The First Trench Battle

Anakin was a super awesome pilot so it stands to reason that Darth Vader would be just as skillful. And, let's be honest, he flew through that trench like a boss. However, he failed to blow up Luke because his minion flew into him and caused him to careen into space. Remember?

Normally, calmly flying through the trench....

Then the TIE Fighter pilot spazzes out and slams into Darth Vader...

...and sends Darth spiraling into oblivion.

 

 So, as you can see, Darth Vader was not responsible for his first defeat at the hands of the rebels (unless you count Force Unleashed). Instead, it was the idiotic lackey in the TIE Fighter next to him. And the final picture demonstrates Vader's skill as a pilot. He pulled himself out of a 180-vertical spin and survived. Impressive.

2. The Flaw in His Machine
For some unknown reason, there is a hole in the Death Star capable of blowing the whole thing up. And it's not even on the bottom of the circular station. It's in the middle, with a trench leading up to it. Everyone can agree this is an idiotic design. However, Vader cannot be blamed. The guy funding it always hires someone else. Thus, this poorly planned design of a death machine can once again be blamed on an idiot lackey. We can safely assume that the man responsible was choked to death.

I think I've made my point. Darth Vader is the world's greatest villain. If you don't agree, re-read the article. If you still don't agree, just close your browser and return to your cave. Don't tell me why you disagree, because I don't care.

It's the best policy.

Life

Imagine a giant canvas; the biggest in the world. It's ever evolving, the picture shifting and flowing as though the paint and image are alive, with their own thoughts and emotions. Meanwhile, the artist sits back and watches His creation move. Occasionally, He will intervene, moving His brush through His creation and influencing and helping His creation through their struggles.

The canvas is life. We are the art, moving and weaving through the world. As we attempt to live our lives, we are forever watched by a loving creator who wants nothing but the best for us.

How comforting is that?

But, no matter how comforting that fact may be, we are separated from our Creator, with only His brushstrokes in our life to remind us He is there. God has given us the instruction book for life in His Word. All we have to do is read it.

Faith. It's a powerful thing.

Separation though, it can hurt. Our lives are not what they were meant to be; instead, we live in a world filled with sadness, death and pain. Temptation, physical desires and sin run rampant through the world. Crap happens and, a lot of the time, life is hard.

It's what we get for eating the apple. And we deserve it.

However, our Creator is loving and just and hates to see us suffer. Oh, how He loves.

As a result, God painted in a Savior into our world, a Savior named Jesus. Jesus is God's Son, the perfect lamb and sacrifice, sent to save us.

God, the Creator of the world, the universe, the One who knows every star in the galaxy and how many hairs are on your head created a Son. He created a perfect being, simply to sacrifice himself to save our pathetic, sorry, ungrateful and evil, wicked selves.

That is how much He loves us, His creation.

It's tried and cliche; you've heard it all before. But, I want you to really think about it, as you sit there on your computer with Facebook, Myspace or Twitter open in another tab. You're probably just skimming this, hoping it will get funny.

As you read this, I want you to think about exactly what the Jesus' sacrifice meant for YOU. Not for the world, but for you.

God created a Son and sent Him to the earth to save YOU. He sent Him so that YOU would not have to rot for eternity in a pit of fire, wasting away in the torment of your own sin. He loves YOU enough to ignore your denial, your blatant disobedience and your selfish nature and sacrifice Himself to save you.

This was not an easy death.

The epitome of perfection was sent to our sinful, pain-filled world with a single purpose: to save YOU. He witnessed and He preached and He saved.

Then He died.

Slowly, gruesomely and painfully, our Savior left us. This was not an electric chair. There was no flash of light and then death.

Jesus' skull was impaled with three-inch thorns, tearing at his flesh and causing blood to drip down his face. And as He stood their bleeding, our Creator listened to His beloved creation booing and mocking and screaming for His death.

This crucifixion was so much worse than any of us can possibly imagine.

He was then lead into the back and stripped down. A bulky, well-muscled man that Jesus Himself created walked in and laid waste to his flesh. The whip he used to peel our Savior's flesh away in this sick game had glass, rocks and thorns woven into it.

Jesus was beaten by His own creation until he was literally an inch from death.

He was stood up, blood oozing down His back and His muscles exposed. His crown of thorns was returned and they gave him a cross to carry. It was not the cross you're used to. Two square beams, probably the size of tree trunks were strapped together, the wood splintering and rough.

This two-hundred pound hunk of wood rested on His exposed muscle, splinters stabbing Him as He walked. The whole time, His own creation, those He'd come to save, spat in His face and called Him names.

Finally, He reaches the mount where He is to die. His clothes are taken. All of them and He is completely exposed. As they raise Him up, they gamble his clothes away and their Savior looks down at them like a common criminal.

Ungrateful, sick, disgusting and cruel were His executioners. According to the Bible, YOU are no better.

Your sin and your pride are the reason He was tortured and beaten. WE are all to blame.

As Savior hung there, thirsty and weak. When asked for water, the guards spat in His face one more time and pressed vinegar to His chapped lips.

Our Savior hung there, nails in His flesh, digging at the muscle as gravity pulled Him down.

Something you probably don't know: when nailed to the cross, they did not just lay there, waiting to die. Instead, victims had to fight against gravity just to breathe, pulling themselves up buy their nailed arms alone, the nails rubbing against bone. Sometimes, a plank of wood would be placed at the base of their spine to make it harder to breathe. Eventually, the victims would become so weak, they could no longer breath and would suffocate to death.

This is what Jesus went through for YOU. But His death was even worse.

In the middle of it all, Jesus took on the sin of the whole world, past, present and future. He took on YOUR sin; every lie, every bad thought, every dirty little secret that you've ever had. Jesus took it all. The perfect man bathed in our sin and our misery. He suffered and cried and the God, His own Father, turned his back on Jesus.

God has promised that He will NEVER forsake us. But, He couldn't look at that much sin.

THAT is the story of the crucifixion. THAT is what Jesus went through for YOU. You should feel sick, ashamed and depressed. We are so unworthy of His grace, His mercy and His love.

Yet, He is jealous for us.

He hates the fact that we turn away from Him to pursue the trivial. We turn away from Him the second our life gets bad or get bored with physical limitations of a relationship. In a MOMENT, we turn away from the One who gave His life for us to live....and we don't even care.

Sure, we come back eventually. As soon as we need something, we're best friends with God again.

It's disgusting. WE deserve the cross. WE deserve to die horrible and painful deaths. The Bible says that blood and water poured from Jesus' body after He was stabbed. According to science, that ONLY happens when every single one of your bodies major organs shut down.

Jesus' body shut down, slowly, one piece at a time before He finally did. Imagine the pain and the suffering that comes from that? That's what we deserve. That's what He did.

There's a happy ending to this story and that's what everyone thinks about. "Everything turned out okay in the end, so it really wasn't that bad."

(WARNING: Graphic) This says otherwise.

I recently felt convicted to write this blog. I have no idea how to end it besides saying remember the beauty of life and the pain that was required to ensure our security. Stay close to God; He will never forsake us, so why should we forsake Him?

I've recently been struggling with a lot of demons and I know I'm not the only one. So take heart, fellow believers and stay true to your Savior. He loves you and wants to hold your hand through it all. Remember the gravity and graphic imagery of His crucifixion if you ever doubt His love.

In Christ,
Spencer